For all you nouveau riche or wannabe nouveau riche listen up and take note; from Marbella to Miami, St Barths to St Tropez, the beach or pool is a time to have fun, catch jokes with friends, get that all important tan and chill.
We know, we totally get it. You have money now, Tiffany platinum buckets full but to avoid looking like the girlfriend of a Balkan state stealing thug, tone it down a touch and read below.
DO wear gold jewelery in moderation. Large gold hoops with a long thin gold chain will glisten against your oiled tanned skin and kaftan, heighting your haute hippe ensemble and making the men drool.
DO wear toe rings; now is the time to get away with it.
Keep it simple, your engagement and/or wedding ring is ok as is a small rock but NOTHING else.
If the strap marks don't bother you, DO wear a large masculine watch. It toughens up the girlish bikini flowing hair look.
Bracelets Rock: The Cartier string love bracelet, thin gold or coral coloured bracelets, an evil eye or/and whatever charity you are 'supporting' in the shape of a beaded bracelet.
DON'T wear all your jewelery at once; it's so painfully obvious to anyone and everyone that you are; insecure, obsess on how you are perceived by the real wealthy glossy posse, and, the worse, new money classless.
DON'T stack all your diamond tennis bracelets on one wrist. If you must, wear one on the same wrist as your watch.
Divorcee's, pro hunters and gold diggers; DON'T think, by flashing your gold Rolex Daytona and Graff rock, that the decrepit old man in the next sun lounger is going to find you attractive. Confident elegant gentlemen find that sort of thing a turn-off, keep it simple. It's only women who care about that kind of thing and we're not going to buy you that new £4000 Cavalli dress you saw for tonight's party, sweedie.
xoxo
Illustration by Catherine Wong
http://fashionartandeverything.blogspot.com
1 comments:
So.. I should leave my 14k gold fake ruby and diamond encrusted grill at home?
Fantastic!!!!! This post made me laugh..
I've been spending time in South Beach, Miami lately, and while part of me loves it - another part of me can only tolerate it in limited quantities.
I'm all for 'the beautiful people' showing off a bit (although I'm clearly not one of them!!!), but there's a line where it slips into being cheap, classless - then funny and ultimately sad.
(hey.. who you calling "leathery 30-something"???) :)
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